Confessions of a grumpy old man

So here are some thoughts on #4 of my ten life lessons I’ve learned/am learning. Click here to see my list

#4 Never underestimate the power of the negative voice - There is an old preachers saying that goes “ any old jackass can kick down a barn it took 15 good carpenters to build” I think my favorite quote regarding negative voices is Lyndon Johnson who said in his own unique way, “id rather have someone inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in”

I took a stab at something a couple years ago when I listened to some sermons I had recorded. I felt they were coming from a negative perspective. I had got into a mind set of proclaiming the effects of missing out on God’s love or if we refused to live out this miraculous gift of God, rather than proclaim the hope and joy and transformation when we experience God’s love through Jesus. It may sound subtle but the focus is very different. Proclaiming transformation through God’s spirit is about hope and a longing for something better, proclaiming the consequences of living away from that spirit brings a longing to escape the consequences of living in that place, which may or may not involve God. Anyway, I’m gonna start preaching so I better get back on track... So after hearing myself I made a conscious effort not to say anything negative for a month. And to add another negative statement... I suck at being positive all the time. I had the same experience when I tried to take Jesus words seriously in Matthew’s Gospel when he said love your neighbor as yourself... I picked the wrong week to drive in heavy traffic to Seattle for conference meetings.. there is a reason I don’t have a fish on my car!

My sense of humor is a bit dry and very sarcastic and I use that as a cover to mask my negativity. I can always say “I was just joking”. I notice when I am in a negative place and the comments and actions i make are negative the people around me become more negative. It’s kinda’ like the blob that consumes as it goes. It’s hard to experience joy in that climate and around some people (including me at times)

I have been in more than one situation where a body of disciples had a decision to make or had taken a step in faith to follow what they truly believed to be God’s leading, only to have one or two negative voices destroy it, and drag the group back to a placid existence together.

As I am writing this i realize that it is beginning to sound like any dissenting voice is negative. I don’t believe that at all. In fact I am a firm believer that the loyal opposition is sometimes the most profound voice of God in a community. And I am on occasion fulfilling the role of that loyal opposition, as a response to my faith.

The negativity that is driven by fear and inconvenience can be a passion killer and can be a genuine obstacle to what the Spirit is doing in the midst of the world and our lives together.

Secondly, negativity towards the world around us is killing the church. Sooner or later we have to realize that we are ambassadors of love rather than the moral police. Our scriptures begin at Gen ch 1 with the creation as an expression and image of God, not Gen Ch 3 with the fall. And believe it or not there is a whole lot of stuff that goes on between Gen ch 3 and Romans ch 3 where Paul explains the remedy for the fall.

Friends be good to each other, proclaim love and the Gospel of Jesus not the Gospel about Jesus. Love your neighbor, rather than tell them how bad they are. Change the course of the grumpy old man!

Don't look back Brad!

The fist song I ever learned on my guitar was "More Than A Feeling" by Boston. I have played it so many times that my fingers just do it by muscle memory. I don't think i could slow the finger picking down to see the pattern anymore. I can't tell you how many hours I spent in my bedroom as a kid pretending to be Brad Delp the singer of Boston. Later when I got my first guitar I pretended to be Tom Schultz the lead guitarist. I think I wore out the grooves on my Boston LP (Remember LP's???) and then the Don't Look Back LP.

A couple of days ago while listening to the "entertainment news" on the morning news show I watch while getting ready for the day here in the Portland area, they said Brad had died. I never met Brad, I have never even seen him in concert, but I had pretended to be him hundreds of times in my mind. I was surprised to feel a twinge in my heart at hearing the news, and a real sense of sorrow.

Today when I turned on the computer to start the work day, my ISP home page had as one of their headlines "family says singers death was a suicide". I quickly hit the link, and sure enough it seems that Brad had indeed committed suicide leaving notes for his family and fiancé'

As one blog I read today on this topic put it; "It sucks when your heroes die!" Any suicide is especially tragic. It always makes my heart hurt to hear of someone who somehow found themselves in a place where they felt the best option was to die. I must admit I'm in a bit of a funk this afternoon about the whole thing... I'm sad cause one of my heroes has died, .... I'm sad because I wonder if he knew there were people like me who loved his art, and even pretended to be him in front of mirrors singing into hair brushes and screwdrivers...

I picked up my guitar today and played "More Than A Feeling" again, and there was no way I could hit the "She slipped awayyyyyyy....yyyyyaaaaa.....yyaaaaaaa!" line like Brad did.

Even though I never met you I hope you found some peace friend.

Rock on!

My kids can do anything!

HI friends,

I thought I’d add to my thoughts on my ten life lessons I’ve learned/am learning. Click here to see my list The picture is of my two kids and me, (i'm the one with the guitar) on our yearly camping trip to the Rogue River, who are the most above average, wonderful kids I have ever met. (no bias of course)

A few years back while I was volunteering with a local church in Medford Or. The church had a guest speaker come and talk about parenting skills at a Sunday evening program. I don’t remember hardly anything about the program, Mostly cause at the time my wife and I weren't parents. I was only there because I was volunteering with the Church’s youth group and thought it might be a good Idea to support the kids parents. The speaker, in her opening statements, asked us to think about our own parents and their parenting skills. She then followed up the phrase with “ don’t do it like they did” At that point I was kinda done with what she had to say.

I’ll be the first to say there are millions of children who have experienced how not to be a parent... I’ve sat in CPS hearings with some of them, and am continually amazed at how families can treat each other. But I’m not one of them. My parents did a wonderful job of raising my brother sister and I. I don’t want to speak for my siblings, but our home was always a place where I knew I was loved and encouraged. I, of course, thought my parents were idiots when I was 15, I had the car packed two days before I left for college when I was 18, but secretly cried when It hit me that I was really going to live somewhere else.

Of the things my parents gave me, a feeling that I was smart, and that I could work out any problem I faced, or set my sights on something and have if become reality, was by far their best gift. My dad taught me how to throw a football and encouraged me when I felt too small. He drove me to track practices every afternoon until Jr. High and rarely missed a chance to see me run, and talk about the race with me after. (he is a large part of the reason I went to college on a track scholarship and was ranked 8th in the nation at one point) My mom and her best friend used to lead an after school program for several of us in third grade. (she was the one who taught me and my friends to sing “The B-I-B-L-E yes that the book for me”

I vividly remember in kindergarten, my parents bought something that came in a big box (at least the size of a kindergarten aged kid) I took a pair of scissors and several rolls of scotch tape and turned the box into a 747 complete with 7 40 7 written on the tail in red crayon. Instead of getting in trouble for using up three rolls of Scotch tape, I heard how creative I was and how wonderful my creation was.

When I think of my own kids, I hope I give them that same feeling. My son is seriously the smartest 4th grader I know. That doesn’t mean he always picks up his dirty clothes, or that there isn’t the moments of frustration (I’m sure my parents never had those moments with me)

We were following behind a car on the freeway and my son asked what does Hemi mean? I told him it was a type of engine in some cars... “especially in MOPAR cars” I said. He replied “oh Chryslers are MOPAR cars?” I said “ya’” and he added “I bet MOPAR means Motor Parts.” (When my son wins the Daytona 500 remember this Blog!) “So why is it called Hemi?” he asked “Well, remember how we talked about how engines work, and that they burn gas to make pistons go up and down?” “ya’” came from the back seat. “We’ll some cars, at the top of the piston are flat , and some are curved to make the piston move with more power, That curve is called a Hemisphere.” “Oh, like the Northern Hemisphere on the earth! - oh I get it, so Hemi is short for Hemisphere in the engine?” My son can do anything!

My daughter creates (notice she is using the pop corn bowl as a drum in the picture). She saves, what the rest of us call garbage but uses them for projects she makes. She dances, and dances.... and did I mention she dances? Whether its during worship, or in her car seat to the radio, or in the front room listening to a flock of seagulls with dad, or at a wedding reception. Two years ago at a family retreat our church hosts every year at the beach, she made up her own ballet dance at the age of five to dance while dad played the guitar, during the talent/no talent show. She got a standing ovation, and they made her do it again as an encore. When she was asked “did you learn that in dance class?” She would just smile and say” nope, just made it up.” My daughter can do anything!

I hope my kids never loose those feelings, I know the world can beat us down and make us feel stupid, and even the people we love can do it to us sometimes. I hope my kids hear from me how much I love them, and that they can do anything, because the world will be better if my kids hear it, and if yours hear it too!

Who's in the box?

I've a friend who is a former seminary professor of mine, whose blog I have linked to in the past. He is one of those people I call "stupid smart"... even when he is stupid he is still way smarter than me. Anyway, there is a lot of fuss going on about the soon to air "documentary" on the discovery channel regarding the possible discovery of Jesus bones.

Ben actually knows the people who dig up such artifacts and catalogue them. (the rest of us just read about them) Anyway he has some helpful and interesting posts on his blog about the whole affair ... I warn you it is a bit long and you need to turn off the TV and radio and concentrate as you read through them.

Ben Witherington's Blog

Two friends whom I love

It has been a stressful week with lots of work, and late nites, as happens from time to time when you are in full time ministry. Occasionally the stress backs up and I realize my wife and kids get the tired, used up, worst part of their husband and dad.

I have some friends whom I love, and who are far away in dangerous places. I realized this week, as one of them was injured, that some of the things I stress about, really don't amount to much, and people need to have a reality check, and be good to one another.

Anyway, I'd like to point you towards the blogs of my two friends, so you can read what their lives are like, and be praying for them both. I do everyday!

Aaron Stewart - Southern Sudan

LTC Rich Phillips - Salerno Hospital, Afghanistan

Ash Wednesday Pics

Hi there, thought I'd put up a few pictures from our Ash Wednesday Service. We had a pretty large turn out this year. It's been fascinating to see how this service has grown in importance to people in our congregation. Five years ago it was just a handful of people, and most wouldn't rearrange plans to be in attendance. Now this service, as well as the whole season of Lent, have a wonderful sense of meaning for us.

I hope you had a great Ash Wednesday no matter what your traditions are, and hope that if you are one who makes this journey through Lent it is a wonderful one.

More than ashes in your face, Happiness & Joy

Well, to further elaborate on the 10 lessons I have and am learning Click here to see my list I’ll look a little closer at this notion that Joy and Happiness are not the same thing.

To start with I wanna’ go on the record as having said that I am a big fan of both joy and happiness, and I am “for” both of them (as opposed to being “agin em’” as my friends in Kentucky would say). But I also think that of the two if I had to choose one to experience it would be Joy.

Scripture speaks quite a lot about joy - A quick word search of the Old and New Testaments show 164 references to the word.

Other than in the book of Job and the Psalms, "joy" is used very conditionally. Usually people sang with joy when something good happened, or had their joy taken away when something bad happened. In the prophets there is an image of joy when God does something wonderful , but an absence of joy in the troubles of the present.

In Job there is a sense that this Joy God speaks of isn’t conditional on your situation. “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouts of joy. “ Even in the midst of the terrible conditions Joy finds himself in the word “joy” is used.

In the New Testament "joy" seems to have a grander connection. As if it is connected with something bigger than just the fleeting situation we find ourselves in. Phrases like the Angels greeting to the shepherds “Do not be afraid; for see —I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people” Or in Jesus words in John’s Gospel “I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” Or Paul's words to the Romans “For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” or listed as one of the “fruits of the spirit - “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness...”

It seems to me that there are plenty of times when my situation makes me happy. I find a $5 bill in my coat pocket from last winter (or I put on someone else’s coat) Or my wife surprises me by making Jambalya for dinner, And there are plenty of times that my situation makes me sad or unhappy. Mornings when my motorcycle wont start or my child is sick or a friend is ill. It seems my happiness is very conditional, and I can spend an awful lot of time trying to avoid situations or conditions that will may me unhappy for a while.

But joy is connected to a bigger overriding feeling, and peace that comes not from my situation, but as a gift. I believe it is a gift from God. Joy is in the feeling that even though my child is sick I know God is good, and in control. Joy is in experiencing God’s creation as I ride around Lacamas lake on my motorcycle on a spring morning. Joy lets me know that no matter the condition or situation I am in, there is a God who loves me and I am in his hands. It can be a strange paradox. I have officiated more than one funeral where I have wept in sorrow but also experienced joy.

It seems to me that the life that is ruled my the joy that is given to us as a gift from God is infinitely better than just being happy in my situation. It's not by any stretch of the imagination easier, in fact sometimes it is more difficult, but it is good!

I have found that when I was merely living life looking for happiness, I often avoided difficult situations because I wasn’t happy in them at the moment. In avoiding those difficulties I was in reality missing out on the greater Joy that is accomplished when we spend times in those difficult places, and see the grander nature of our lives.

It reminds me of a friend who used to run with a group of us every afternoon when I was a sprinter in college. He would complain about how all this running just made him tired and hurt his lungs (not to mention he couldn’t smoke while he did it.... the ashes would blow in his face) But some of us knew that hard work and difficulty in the moment meant something bigger in the long run (no punn intended)

I think I’m mostly done chasing after happiness and am experiencing a peace and life that comes from God’s gift of Joy.

Ash Wednesday

Hi friends sorry to take a break from my 10 lessons theme but today is Ash Wednesday. Its one of the holy days our congregation as well as millions of others around the world celebrate (if that is the right word??) and marks for us the beginning of the season of Lent.

The reason I'm a little leery of using the word celebrate is that Ash Wednesday and Lent in general are a time of self inspection and deep reflection that brings us to the wonderful celebration of Easter. Typically (at least for me) that time of introspection usually illuminates things in my life physically, spiritually and otherwise that I know are a hindrance to my faith and relationship with Jesus, and it doesn't feel like a celebration at times.

BUT having said all that I'm always up for a good laugh. Some may feel this link is irreverent ... and it is... but it made me laugh.

Ash Wednesday Joke

I hope your season of Lent is wonderful and challenging and that the God of Love, Grace and Forgiveness meets you on this journey!

Starting with #1...

I’ve been doing some thinking about lessons Ihave learned in life . Like many of you I have several hats I wear - Pastor, Husband, Dad, Old Man, Young Whippersnapper, and the list goes on. In the complexities that are me, I have found a few things that I think are incredibly important lessons I’ve learned (or am learning) so I thought I would jot them down. I’ll try to expound a little on each one in the weeks ahead. I’ll give you the whole list and then give you some more insights into #1 to begin with. (#1 is always a good place to start, even though Three Dog Night taught us all that “1 is the loneliest number”... ok I saw those words come across my computer screen too, and I’m as troubled by the reference as you are... let it go... somewhere along the way I turned old)

Here is my list (at this point in history)

1. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is always better than being a Christian.

2. Joy and happiness are not the same thing

3. Tell your kids they can be and do anything they dream of.

4. Never underestimate the power of the negative voice.

5. Original sin is alive and well

6. Wesley’s entire sanctification isn’t just a theory

7. Being involved in something bigger than yourself is important.

8. if your involved in “ministry” don’t let it destroy your family

9. ”Be excellent to each other”

10. I’m not responsible for someone else's spiritual life or relationship with God



1. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is always better than being a Christian.

In resent years this has become an important part of my call as an ordained minister. I find myself talking more and more about being a disciple of Jesus, or a follower of Christ, rather than being a “Christian”. I also must admit that the amount of strange and confused looks i get has increased since coming to this belief.

In my mind there is a difference between the two: the main difference is see is that one can be a “Christian” w/o being a disciple. I’m finding that an increasing number of us in the “Christian church” are finding our identity in a belief system and a prescribed set of behaviors rather than being disciples of Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to transform us and the world. I’m not convinced that what Jesus meant when he was talking to Nicodemus in John Ch 3 about belief meant that we we merely check a box at the end of the apostles creed that says “agree” like we are loading Mac OS10.4 on our iBook, and therefore get a reward. We can rejoice in John 3;16 but forget to read vs 21 when Jesus gives Nichodemus some insight into what “belief” really means - “But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.” The word “Phaneros” that is translated “clearly seen” in the NIV and “made manifest” in KJV has a sense of being real, provable, - not just a check in a box. When Jesus is asked about the kingdom of God he responds with stories like the good Samaritan, or an image of sheep and goats - (Matt 25;34-40 - “Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ ) Jesus repeatedly gives us stories and images that model for us tangible actions that flow from a changed heart.

Believers who merely subscribe to a belief system, or a set of behaviors are more prevalent than germs on my son’s shirt sleeve during cold and flu season (and have roughly the same effect.... oops was that in my outside voice??) What I’m convinced God is calling us to, is to be people so transformed by God’s grace and hope that we can’t be satisfied with anything less than being tools in the hands of the holy spirit to transform our world and see God’s kingdom come. That requires us to be disciples of Jesus, to take seriously what scripture tells us about love and justice and mercy, to question our ideas about power and wealth, to ask the question “what would Jesus do” rather than make it a bracelet or a bumper sticker.

My call as a man set apart as an ordained minister, and even more importantly as a man transformed by God’s grace, is to be about the work of being a disciple of Jesus, and that road is always better than checking the “I agree” box.

Reminding myself

I usually have a ceremonial act of cleansing that i do at the beginning of each year. I clean my office which is a relative term because I’m one of those pile filers - “it’s in that pile over there...” So anyway, in an attempt to see my desk, I was going through those stacks of paper that “I am going to get to later” and chucking out the ones that aren’t going to get gotten to, or it’s too late to get to, or I was never really going to get to it but it looked important to somebody. I was also transferring some piles to folders and notebooks for future use (which is a lie i will never look at them again).

On occasion I mentor people who are exploring taking the step into ministry as an ordained minister in The United Methodist Church (since that is the “tribe” I find myself in) I was looking over some notes I had taken while meeting with one of those candidates. The notes reminded me of a conversation we had about boundaries. It was a good reminder for me.

For those of us who serve as Pastors it’s easy to be eaten alive by the occupation of it. It’s an occupation that is entirely different form any other. When I go home at night, unlike a bank teller, I’m still the pastor. I would never go to my bank teller’s home at 7pm and say could you deposit these checks for me?... (of course unless I said “I know its late but....” or “ I know it’s your day off but...) But Pastors have answering machines full of messages waiting for them at home, three nights a week of administrative meetings, etc...
Secondly, when your are a Pastor it’s deeply connected to who you are, not only for myself but for those people for whom you are a Pastor. If a plumber fixes your pipes incorrectly you don’t assume he is a bad person. When a Pastor falls short of someone's expectations, he/she is not a “good christian” or they are a “false teacher” or some other deeply personal judgment on the state of their soul. An extension of this is that many of us in ordained ministry fall into the trap of assuming that if this church doesn’t fly or thrive it’s our fault, or if someone spiritual life is in shambles, it’s our fault. If the finance campaign wasn’t successful and the congregation still only gives and average of 2% of their income to God’s work in the world, it’s our fault, or if some one leaves because “they aren’t being fed” ... say it with me... it’s our fault! Finally. there is always something that can take your time. There is always the sermon to work on, there is always the small groups that need formation,. There is always the new miraculous book that needs read, there is always someone that needs a visit or a call....

With all those things, finding boundaries so that Mark doesn’t disappear and Pastor Mark becomes my only identity, becomes difficult. I have (like many of you) a long list of people whom I know whose lives and families were destroyed because they were never able to set those boundaries well - or at all. For me that included co-officiating the funeral of a colleague and friend after a suicide)

I tell those people I am mentoring (my “mentees” as I call them) to know that this call to ministry can eat you alive. That almost everyone you come in contact with will encourage you to give every moment and ounce of effort to it, either out right, or subtly by their actions.

This was written on the bottom of the page of notes I was reviewing - “Don’t let God’s call to ministry be about you... it’s about God, If it depends on you, it’s not a call but a character flaw”

Now i’m not sure I totally buy that. even though I wrote it, but I do know that the hole we can dig for our selves in the name of ministry can be hard to get out of. I’m amazed at how often those of us in ministry can find this very call sapping the joy and life that we are called to be ambassadors for.

I hope as this new year rolls around that you all find joy in the journey of your faith, and that God opens whole new avenues to experience life in abundance. Happy New year!

Second Chances and Grace

Usually towqards the top of the list of things I care nothing about is the miss USA pageant. But in the last few days it seems that the story of Tara Conner has been in the news quite a bit. Again, usually the fact that someone who is in the public eye for something as shallow as winning the miss USA contest but then made poor decisions surrounding illegal drugs doesn’t rank high on my “ who would have thought it could happen” scale. I know that sounds pretty calloused, but stories like this tend to make me a firm believer in original sin.

But I digress.... What did catch my attention was that as I was driving to a local coffe shop to work on a sermon I was listening to the radio andthe “celebrity news” came on. I was surprised to hear Donald Trump say these words “I have always believed people deserve a second chance... I am giving Tara a second chance” I was amazed. Of the ego maniacs in the world I have always felt that “The Donald” was the “ego maniaciest” closely followed by P Diddy, and Konye West. To hear Donald say such a thing was a bit amazing to me. Then my thoughts were voiced by the radio announcer when she said “so it seems Tara owes The Donald a big favor, and don’t think he wont come looking to cash that in someday...”

I wish I wasn’t so cynical, but I find it hard to believe there was anything but personal gain at the heart of Trump’s actions. I’m a little disappointed that Tara’s second chance was hedged in the language of forgiveness, especially when Donald Trump is the one being seen as generous and magnanimous. Now that I’ve polluted this story with my own misgivings and cynicism, wouldn’t be great if the world worked like that. Imagine being forgiven for the destructive decisions and actions we make - giving us a second chance or a third or even a fourth. But imagine if that second chance was given, not with the string of “you owe me and I’m gonna come for payment” attached to it... Hmmmmm.

It’s that second chance that reminds me how amazing God is, and it’s communities that look out for one another and share that same forgiveness and love with each other that make me long for God’s kingdom to come.

What I’m afraid of is that most of us see God's forgiveness and second chances the way we see Trump’s. Loaded against us. “I’ll do this but you owe me and some day I will come looking for pay back.” My son has a game boy game that he takes with him on car trips to make the trips shorter, and to prove to his dad that he isn’t hip and cool anymore (As if the fact that I used the phrase “hip and cool” in a sentence wasn’t proof enough) Anyway while at grandma and grandpa’s during thanksgiving the game boy was lost.. because HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS THINGS.... sorry I was channeling dad there for a sec. Needless to say he was heart broken at losing his favorite toy not to mention the pokimon game that had all his trainable pokimon on it. Now imagine if I had said “son I will get you another one but you owe me, and someday I’m gonna call in that favor...” As it turned out it was buried in the bottom of a suitcase, When I found it I immediately came out and showed him what I found. All I got was a hug, a huge grin and a thank you from my son as he wiped tears off his cheeks. As if those are small things to a dad that dearly loves his son! Is God’s love for us any different? When he sees us heart broken, sometimes from our own selfishness and actions, or tangled in traps we have laid for ourselves, do we think that he is thinking how can I cash in on this?

Maybe that's why the incarnation begins in a little town in a barn instead of a palace or in the trump plaza. Because the message of Christ isn’t about stuff, or belongings or real estate, but about life in abundance.

Welcome to the "East Pole"

This morning while driving to work I passed a house in our neighborhood that was decorated with lights and inflatable snowmen, and Santa’s etc... Smack dab in the middle of the yard next to the inflatable Santa was an arrow shapped sign that read “North Pole” What was funny was that the sign pointing to the north pole was pointin’ due East. Now I know some of us are more anal about things like this than others, but it made me laugh.

It doesn’t take much to get my mind spinning off on tangents and this morning a misplaced sign to Santa’s workshop got me thinking....

I’m generally not too upset with the non-christian images and traditions that have crept into the Christmas celebrations we enjoy. We have a Christmas tree in our home, and Santa Claus has often opened the door for me to have a conversation with someone about St. Nicholas. (My son, at the age of 4, asked the mall Santa “did you know that you were once bishop of prussia?”) But, I do find myself consistently saddened by the increased climate of consumerism and “buy, buy, buy!” at this time of year. That's a whole nother blog topic.

The arrow placed incorrectly got me thinking about how often we follow after things that really lead us nowhere, especially at Christmas time (nice segue huh? you wondered how I was gonna find my way back I know...)

Last week in Seattle, there was a complaint filed at Sea-Tac airport about the christmas trees on display by a Jewish Rabbi. They were removed. The Rabbi has since said that his intention was not to have the trees removed, but to have some Jewish symbols added. That's all well and good. I would like to see a mannorah next to the alaska airlines kiosk. But since when was a fir tree with lights and ornaments depicting penguins skiing a religious, let alone, Christian symbol?! That's like looking for “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” in the Methodist Hymnal. (I think its a direct reference to first sparticus 1:12 “thou shalt rock around the christmas tree, verily fa la la, verily la” Am I gonna have to have Windmeir bros. holiday brew Snow Plow Ale available at communion because it’s “christmassy” so there for it’s Christian? (which by the way was a bit of a disappointment - never had a milk stout before and probably wont have another for a while)

I was speaking with my friend Mike, whose child was in a preschool program that included Hanukah symbols and songs as well a Quanza themes and images. The teachers made sure that Christianity was represented by... Wait for it... a christmas tree. Mike said “Is that the best we can do for the Christian belief about Christmas?... a Christmas tree?... I mean come on!”

When I was a kid in grade school I did the dance and sang “dreidel, dreidel dreidel” at the Christmas program, but never heard a word about the miracle of the oil not running dry, nor did I hear much about the concept of God becoming human. But I sang my heart out with the rest of the 4th grade choir when we performed “Silent Night” and snickered when we had to sing “round yon virgin” --hee hee. It was never a faith/religious experience.

It just seems that there are so many things that we can chase after and call them holy, religious or Christian but in reality they don’t lead us anywhere.

So deck the halls, and make the mall Santa uncomfortable with questions of church history, but remember that Christmas isn’t about trees, or holly, candy canes or “Snow Plow Ale”. It’s about a God who loves us enough to become human, walk with us, sacrifice for us and make sure that arrow sign point to the way that leads to life.

Raise your glass- have a blessed and holy season of Advent and merry Christmas!

Hanging the Greens

Well, Advent is here. We had a fun nite at church on Friday nite decorating the Sanctuary, while the kids were making crafts at the Advent workshop. Just in time for the "Hanging the Greens" service this Sunday morning!




How many Methodists does it take to climb a ladder and put up a wreath? Geesh!


Anyway here are a few pictures of the Flying luigi’s on the ladder and the others who helped on Friday. Also since its my blog my kids made the pics for the kids Advent workshop.




Hope ya’ll have a wonderful season of Advent!

CANNONBALL!!!!

An anonymous donor sent me this link. - I think every youth group has this kid in it!

Who's this about??

On Monday nights I meet with a group of friends at the Horse Brass Pub on Belmont in Portland, Or. Some of us are currently pastors, some of us are former pastors, some of us are students, architects, musicians... jocks, dorks, dweebs they all love him. He’s one righteous dude... sorry I reverted to a Ferris Beuller moment there for a sec...

Anyway, I was speaking with a friend who is easing his way back into ministry after years professional ministry. As we talked he made a statement about having a sense of freedom now when he speaks knowing that its not about him or the audience but about what God is going to do. For some reason his comment stuck with me. I have always known in my head that this mission and ministry God calls me to are not about me. In fact that is my #1 frustration with church (not just the local church I serve but the church at large). Oh how easy it is for us to fall into that trap of this “institution” being about us, our wants our needs, our sanctuary and carpet and budget... Putting soap box back...sorry.

Where was I ??? oh, anyway... I realized that as a pastor, especially a pastor that feels called by God to be an instrument of transformation for individuals I connect to, as well as this institution of the church, I can easily fall into the trap of assuming it’s about me. Not in the sense that I have a big head, with certificates and trophies; More in the sense of if this ministry doesn’t connect with people ...its my fault; If people don’t participate ...its my fault; If someone says “I’m not being fed...” Its my fault. Living in that trap as a minister is hard on your heart. I guess the reason those words rang so true for me is that I find myself there a lot these days as the congregation I serve wrestles with ministry and mission, being disciples or consumers. I hear a lot of “that thing Pastor Mark started...” or “Pastor Mark’s...” and it’s draining.

As if that wasn’t enough of a reminder for me, as the evening went on and most of the others had gone home, there were just a few of us left sitting around the table talking. A friend who is a local musician in town, began talking with me about some of the incredible things God was teaching him about himself and about God.

As we talked he said “I don’t know how you guy’s (Pastors) do it man....” I responded “Well, we have our moments I guess.” We talked a little more and he said “I’m serious... you guys put up with so much, I used to go to a churches just like yours, just to discredit the pastor and the congregation. I dress different and talk different and had a chip on my shoulder, and leave cursing you all because you didn’t care and I wasn’t being fed, saying all the while they aren’t Christian... How dare I make you responsible for my Spiritual growth! How can I expect you to do something for me that I wasn’t willing to do myself and then walk out cursing you because of it. I mean I have a Bible... I can read... I never participated in anything other than the 20 minute sermon and that was just to get ammo to use against you... I’m sorry”

Now this friend has never been to a church I have served, and I only know him through the Horse Brass. But I know there have been plenty of people who have made me responsible for their spiritual growth and their relationship with God, either sub consciously, or intentionally. What's worse is I have bought it too. In fact if my friend had attended a congregation I served and left cursing us, I would have added to the wounds by assuming his lack of spiritual growth was my fault.

In fact it’s that trap that adds to the whole consumer nature of the church that breaks my heart. It’s so easy to say “if we just find out what someone wants... transformation will happen” so we chase this and that and church turns into institution. Programs become our core rather than discipleship.

There has been some freedom in all this for me this week and I mention it here because I know there are lots of you who read my musings on this page, who are giving yourselves to God in ministry and mission, and I hope you find some freedom in this as well.

God Bless you friends!

Hash browns and Halloween

I’m in Seattle again for some meetings at our conference office, It also happens to be halloween. I stopped off at a little restaurant to grab an egg and toast for breakfast on my way to the meeting. the restaurant was mostly empty except for a me and an older couple at a table across the room and a few others enjoying the artery clogging meals that are the true greasy spoon experience.

The waitress came up up to the couple eating breakfast to give them their check and laid it on the table with “thanks for coming in have a happy halloween”. The woman at the table answered back “oh we don’t do halloween - I think it’s terrible” I don’t think the waitress was really expecting a point counter point discussion so she kinda had that “well ok then...” attitude. The problem was that the restaurant was small enough that she couldn’t get away from the “conversation” (and I use the word conversation more in the monologue sense of the word)

As the woman launched into the evils of Halloween and how the fact that “these kids” are celebrating an evil holiday more than Christmas is a sign the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I felt more and more un easy, and more than a little dissapointed, that as a woman of Christian faith and conviction this was the avenue she was taking to speak out.

Now, I can see the terribleness in Halloween, especially the terribleness in our waitress wearing a kitty costume made for a 12 year old who weighed 98 lbs and she was neither 12 nor 98 lbs. Every year we have a “harvest party” at church as a gift to the kids of our community, cause we are uncomfortable associating with Halloween, which is fine. Every year I have to explain to the youth group why we don’t do a haunted house at the harvest party. We work hard at making this place, and this group of people, a safe place and community where people feel loved, and can explore the life giving grace of God. Does having a gool chase you with a knife down the back hallway of the church promote that spiritual life of hope we are about?... not so much. So I can see some of the woman’s point.

What bugged me about the one-sided conversation was the fact that it so quickly turned form “oh we don’t do the holiday of halloween” to “those kids...” In my mind I pictured her at the mall while my wife and I take my two kids (Adeline 6 years old will be a china girl thanks to mom’s trip to China town in San Francisco this summer, and Jackson 9 years old will be Ash Catchum (sp?) of pokemon fame) trick or treating. It was the same feeling I had when I heard someone tell me that “the pastor’s son shouldn’t be reading Harry Potter books”. Is there a better way to make people, especially kids, feel like they are evil and unloved, than by saying such things?

I don’t want to imply that we as people of faith shouldn’t stand up for what we believe is right, or stand against those things we feel are wrong. In fact I think we people of faith have lost that desire to love justice do mercy and walk humbly with God in most arena’s of our lives, both personal and private. But in doing so we can never forget that there are people involved. When I hear “those kids” are so bad - I hear “my kids”. I also see cranky old woman with a heart of coal... It reminded me that the way we live our faith affects people, and not just on a grand society level, but on a very personal level (that is if we are even living our faith at all) I’m challenged by the fact that when I make those stands, or act on my beliefs they have to come from a place of love and compassion and life, not from meanness or revenge or dislike.

So if you celebrate Halloween make sure you costume is age and weight appropriate, brush your teeth well after sweets, and have fun.

For the rest of you have a happy Harvest party, or All Saints day or Day of the Dead, or whatever, or just a happy Tuesday.

God Bless

There's always a chance!

I was watching the Monday Night Football game this last week between the Arizona Cardinals and the Chicago Bears. As the pre game show started the Bears were a HUGE favorite. As the pre game show announcers were talking about the teams; giving us injury reports and statistics and another thing they could think of to fill the remaining half hour till kickoff, Tom Jackson made this statement about the Cardinals; “They don’t have a chance”. The other three announcers looked a bit stunned, and in fact he said it a second time “They don’t have a chance” to emphasize his point. Finally former 49er's QB Steve Young replied to the comment “What do you mean they don’t have a chance? There’s always a chance! Sheesh! That’s why they play the game. There’s always a chance!” As the game was played the Bears ended up winning the game by one point after coming from behind in the fourth quarter to beat the team that supposedly “didn’t have a chance”(Field goal kickers have to have the highest stress levels known to humanity.)

Although the team I was rooting for was the underdog, and it was wonderful to see the team that that didn’t have a chance almost shock the world and win the game. (it would have been a better story if they won the game but ya' take what you can get)

That phrase has been rolling around in my head all week “There’s always a chance!” I don’t want to be a pie in the sky type person but I think it's true of football and in life - “There is always a chance!” Every Sunday we pray the “lord’s prayer” and say “thy kingdom come, thy will be done”. No matter how screwed up things seem politically or socially or personally we pray that God’s kingdom would break into this world, and our systems and God’s will would be done. When the Israelites were crying out in their misery under Pharoe’s slave masters there was always a chance. That chance became reality when Moses answered God’s call at that burning bush. When the paralytic had been confined to a mat for years there was always a chance. It became a reality when his friends tore a hole in the roof to lower that mat down to Jesus and he was healed.

It seems to me that when our faith becomes about the work of God’s Holy Spirit in us to see our world changed and lives made new, we find hope. It’s in that hope that we can say “there’s always a chance”. The cool thing about it is that in this situation the underdog does win. The servant who is beaten and bruised breaks free from the tomb, conquers the sins of the world that were so heavily favored to destroy us, and all of creation is redeemed - and we get the joy of being partners with God in that recreation of the world. Never forget - “THERE IS ALWAYS A CHANCE!”

"VanDisciple"

I have to admit it. I’m a Van Halen fan. In fact I’m one of the few people that liked “Van Hagar” as much as the original line up with Diamond Dave. Anyway through the miracle of iTunes I recently purchased “Best of Both Worlds” to listen to during my morning workouts. The premise of the song, as Sammy so eloquently wails it, is that he has met a girl who looks like an angel come from heaven and he wants the best of heaven and earth. I’m sure his intentions were nobel.

I’m not sure that I want the best of both worlds in the same way that Sammy wants his (my wife is better looking than his angel anyway!) I was thinking that every Sunday the congregation says the “Lord’s Prayer” during our worship service. We like most congregations, struggle with those words being a mindless ritual and truly being a prayer from our hearts. The line that always challenges me is “thy kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven”. What does it mean for me to truly ask that God’s will would be done in earth? I used to say it with the image of a super hero shouting “SHAZAM!” and miraculously God would just make things the way he wanted. What I have found is that transformation of the world includes transformation of me. If I really...earnestly want to see god’s kingdom here on earth, it means that I have a roleas a follower and disciple of Jesus Christ. It means that I have to wrestle with loving God and loving my neighbor - struggling with forgiveness that extends beyond 70 X 7 - standing up for what I believe God would call me to.

When I start to see my role in God’s kingdom I actually see more of it coming into being. I hear peoples struggles with those same things. I see how their relationships are different because of God’s grace. I ‘m finding more and more that asking for the best of both worlds is less about SHAZAM and more about my willingness to be a disciple.

Rock on!

Pop quiz!!

Hi friends,

I don't usually put things like these up on my blog but this one was a bit interesting. I saw it first on a friends Blog. I know nothing of the creator of the quiz or hows questions were chosen but the results seemed pretty close - At least for me...Surprise I was a "Wesleyan" (scored 86 in the "Wesleyan" catagory and 79 in the "Emergant/Post Modern". Anyone who knows me could have told you that.

If you wanna take the quiz it is HERE

"step away from the hobo"

I've been sitting on some thoughts that I havenÂ't put down in any written form - mostly because my head has been a little cluttered with schedules and with break-ins and insurance claims and blah blah blah...

As many of you know we at Orchards UMC run a sufficiently HUGE fireworks stand here in Vancouver. It helps us give a salary to our Youth Director and also helps us do some wonderful things above and beyond the normal ministries we do as a church. It's a big undertaking that requires at least a few people to manage it full time during the week of sales. I and another guy from our church managed the tent this year (THANKS KEVIN YOU ROCK!) We were typically out at the tent everyday from 8:30 am to about 11:30pm. A couple of night I spent the night out there as well, as night security. Needless to say I was pretty scruffy looking come the end of the week.

Since the tent was in the Vancouver Mall parking lot, from time to time I would call my wife and kids and have them meet me at the food court for lunch when I could get away. On one of the last days of the sale, I met my family at the food court for lunch. I hadn'’t shaved in a week, I was hot and sweaty (we had several days above 100 degrees while working in a tent on a big black asphalt parking lot.) I smelled like gun powder and sweat and was pretty grimy in general. I got there a few minutes before my family, so I got in line at McD'’s. There was a little kid in line in front of me that smiled at me and said "hi". I asked him if he was gonna shoot off fireworks on the 4th and was just being generally friendly to him. I tried to be equally as friendly with his (I assume) mother, but she just gave me a patronizing smile and tugged her son closer. A few other people treated me in a similar way and it dawned on me that they thought I was homeless. In fact when my family joined me my son greeted me with this phrase to his sister Adeline; "“step away from the hobo!"

I've never experienced people looking "“through me"” or clutching their kids close when I stood behind them in line. It was an odd feeling. When I sat with my family the experience kind of stopped (and turned to "why is that beautiful woman with that guy?")

I was able to go home and take a shower and shave and change clothes, I can only imagine what it would be like to have that reaction everyday without break.

Some friends and I have been discussing what are the causes of homelessnes. Is it rampant consumerism? Is it a choice for some? Is it a "have's" vs. "have not's" thing? It seems that over and over as I interact with people who find themselves living on the street I hear stories of broken and destroyed relationships. Either fights with people, abuse by someone in authority, or someone significant. Somewhere along the line they have either lost the ability to have and maintain relationships or chucked it all together . It comes as no surprise to me that a homeless man we helped last year would break into our church and do thousands of dollars worth of damage, we are just another relationship in a long line that he has destroyed.

So if at the heart of sin is a severed relationship - what is the connection between homelessness relationships and sin? I haven't put all these pieces together in such a way that it fits yet but I think there is an important connection there. The fact that so many broken and destroyed relationship litter the trail to homelessness, and that we as a society can't even have the most superficial relationship with these folks by even merely acknowledging their presence and looking through them.

Your milage may vary.

Have a great week friends