When Jesus doesn't fit my head

This last week at the Young Adult Bible Study that meets at my house on Friday evenings, we were reading in the book of John as Jesus tells his disciples that he now considers them friends. I have always loved that passage and felt a closer connection to a savior that was willing to “lay his life down for Friends” rather than begrudgingly doing his duty. But as we read the passages in context we were all struck by the repeated passages that state “If you love me you will do what I say” and “They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.”
It seemed so formula driven to us and uncharacteristic of Jesus who has been the image of forgiveness through out John’s gospel. It smacked of being merely a system of rules. As we talked about the idea’s of grace and accountability I found myself trying to make Jesus what I wanted him to be. I would head down a road of thought that I liked trying to make Jesus’ words fit a structure or belief I liked. But it didn’t fit, so frustrated we would “try something else” and see if we could fit Jesus into our thought process or philosophical structurein another direction. After sharing thoughts and ideas for about an hour, our stomachs were all grumbling so we decided we should stop and get dinner. We would just have to wrestle with the idea of free grace, merited grace and accountability on our own for a week.
There have been plenty of times in our gatherings where we have stopped and asked “wha????” as we read the scriptures together. We have often had to cross reference scriptures, and pull into the discussion other theologian’s ideas, but usually we would leave at least mostly satisfied that we had found something we connected with. This evening was different - I think we all felt a little frustrated - not because this was so earth shattering, or that we couldn’t reconcile Jesus words with the over all theme of the Gospel as John records it. What I think was frustrating for us, was that unwittingly we spent an hour trying to make Jesus something we wanted him to be, (Something we are usually very careful to avoid.) Part of our time together is to specifically hear what God is saying to us through scripture, not apply our thoughts and comforts onto the scriptures we read. Sometimes the things God reveals to us in scripture, in fact shine a very unflattering light on us and our world views, and can be a bit uncomfortable, but that is a good thing for us I think.
As the frustration of that evening wore away I found myself asking how many other times to I try to make Jesus into what I want him to be, to justify my behavior or world view. Not only in the academic setting, or in study groups, but in the coffee shop, or in the line at the DMV (The 4th level of hell as I lovingly refer to it) or with friends, or with those that are not so friendly.
I don’t want my life to be a series of second guesses, but I also want to take Jesus more seriously than bumper stickers and t-shirts. There are parts of Jesus message that I readily jump on and wave like a banner and others that I tend to ignore because they don’t fit well into my check book, or gas tank, or dinner plate. I hope we are challenged to consider what discipleship means and reminded that we are disciples of the one true christ - Jesus, the incarnate God, the word made flesh, the savior of the world - not people who merely use Jesus as supporting arguments.

Always challenged by a life in Christ

Pastor Mark